You are messing around with the intercom at Walmart, what are you saying?

"Attention Wal-Mart customers...good news for all ladies between the ages of 18 and 40! There's an official melon tester in the produce department. Yes ladies, if you've always wanted to know how to have your melons tested for freshness, now's your chance! Head on over to produce right now!!! It's free, it's easy, and be sure to ask us about our special on organic all-natural cubers!"